Two of our favorite watercooler talking points lately has been the growth of Barstool Sports and the hit Showtime drama Billions. It occurs to me that all empires seem to have the same characters running around. So, here is the who’s who if Barstool was Billions. (Follow us on Instagram for more dumb stuff like this.)
Dave Portnoy – Bobby Axelrod:
This one is a given, both have built their empire brick by brick, both have egos the size of their wallet and both will do anything to keep on going. Plus, they love the ponies.
Stoolsalesguy – Wags:
The second in command. Both of these guys know all of the gossips, all of the secrets and they know how to use those tools to the strongest effect. They not only know where the bodies are buried, some of them they put there themselves. One would never be shocked to learn they died in a drug-fueled orgy on an island in the Atlantic.
CEO Erika – Wendy Rhodes:
These two women know how to handle an office full of misfits and overachievers with fragile egos. It takes a strong woman to quickly put out fires the size that these offices seem to build. Also, they both like leather pants. (wide eye emoji)
Deadspin Freelancers – Chuck Rhodes:
The weasel looking nemesis who will make their career or die trying on the downfall of our “heros”. Are we supposed to root for them? Do they actually make Axe/Barstool more powerful? We contend that they cannot exist without one another but it is getting a little sad that their sole purpose on this earth has become to take down the empires we love to root for.
KFC – Dollar Bill Stern:
Both are key players to their respective companies. Both have questionable morals, shady ethics and work too much but both offices would be lost without their presence.
Feitelberg – Hall:
“What gets me off would disturb you on such a deep level, you’d be best served never to think about it again.” One of these two has said this. See, even you can’t figure out who.
Savants? Weirdos? They/them? Both may well be a genius at what they do but nobody can figure out exactly what that is. People often wonder what would happen to Axe Cap/Barstool if their leaders were suddenly to die, my money is on Taylor and Nate taking over and actually somehow doing a good job of things.
Francis – Mafee:
Both offer comedic relief to an often overworked and underappreciated office. Both are borderline psychopaths and might snap at any minute but also have a softness that is endearing.
Bigcat – Orrin Batch:
These two might be the only things holding the boss from taking the ship over the cliff. Some might call them middlemen but they always have the best interest at heart. They are tight with those inside and outside of their respective offices and keep things running smoothly. Smart, loyal and no need for a diet either.
Finally, Netflix has given us a more granular way to control what content we let out kids consume on their platform. This level of protection should be standard on all media platforms. Not only have then introduced PIN protection but will also display the rating levels before each program on their platform so we can better understand what our children are watching. As an added bonus adults can block individual programs from being streamed even if they are classified within an accepted rating class.
We don’t mourn in America anymore, we just don’t. When people say this is a time for mourning I don’t even know what they are talking about honestly. Maybe, if we had the time to, things might end up different the next time. Yeah, probably not. One burst of mass death leads into the next with such fervor here in America that we swell with outrage for a moment and then change the channel on the tv, in our minds, in our hearts because surely “that won’t happen here.” Won’t it though? Maybe not at scale but gun violence in America is far more than mass shootings. They are just sexy that’s all. That is why they take up so much real estate in our psyche. The deeper and far more insidious scourge is the hourly homicides and suicides that take place all over our communities. They hardly get a mention on the 5 o’clock news let alone make it to the ears of the rest of America. For every 100,000 Americans, statistics show that3.85 of them will be killed, or kill themselves with a firearm in a given year. That number is absolutely sickening. Outside of the areas of the world ravaged by drug wars and conflict America leads the pack in this stat. Something to be proud of? Nobody would say so, but when you shrug that number off and refresh Instagram instead you are in some way complicit. And look, I sit here sussing this out guilty as charged. It’s something that seems like an annoyance to think about because what can I possibly do from this desk to change a damn thing? The truth is probably not much. Not much by myself but, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead said that. So then Marge, where do we begin?
Everytown is a group of Americans who work together to end gun violence and build safer communities. Sure the bad guys have the NRA as a lobbyist but Everytown has mothers and fathers of children who have been murdered or taken their own lives and I want to be on their side. I want to have their backs when the legislation is written to help end this scourge.
When an organization’s goal is simply to half gun deaths in America in half by 2025 you have to support that. We can do so much more to save our children’s lives. It’s our duty as parents. In turn, it’s our duty as children to save our parents lives.
This organization is perhaps the one that we can all relate to the most. Mass shootings and homicides are a drop in the bucket compared to the 21,000 suicides by firearm in America each year. Statistically, you know someone or someone who knows someone who has or will commit suicide by firearm and that number we have the power to change the most. Please visit the participate section of the website and learn some way you can help. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/participate/
We don’t mourn in America much anymore. The energy that it takes to do it over and over again is too much for us to take, so we move on and ignore that reality punching us in the face over and over. It’s time to take back that emotion. It’s time to feel the pain we wrought, it’s time to bath in it and then it’s time use that devastation to create a positive change. You CAN do something about gun deaths in America. By yourself, in a group, in your community, in your America. Start mourning the people we have lost right now. (more…)