“Help me! I don’t want to be here!”

“Help me! I don’t want to be here!”

We don’t often step into the fray of politics here at Relevant Dad, it’s not really our place. We do however from time to time feel the need to reflect on current events and speak up on behalf of our children and our future. There is a whole lot to unpackage about the shooting at Alexandria VA directed at House Republicans, their staffers, and colleagues. Motives, responses, plans going forward etc, but we cannot help but look back at the last decade or more of shootings here in America and just grow sicker and sicker. Day after day, week after week these events keep happening. The collective damage these shootings have on us and our kids are unknown in full but we know it cannot be healthy. The incremental tapping on our psyches will one day punch through into something horrifying that we will not come back from without the help of each other. Below is a video that was taken at the scene of the shooting, watching it is truly terrifying. A little over 25 shots are heard coming from the deranged man’s SKS assault rifle. Now, if you can pretend that you are cowering in your first or second or

Day after day, week after week these events keep happening. The collective damage these shootings have on us and our kids are unknown in full but we know it cannot be healthy. The incremental tapping on our psyches will one day punch through into something horrifying that we will not come back from without the help of each other. Below is a video that was taken at the scene of the shooting, watching it is truly terrifying. A little over 25 shots are heard coming from the deranged man’s SKS assault rifle. Now, if you can… pretend that you are cowering in your first or second or

Now, if you can… pretend that you are cowering in your first or second or third-grade classroom and you endure hearing that sound 154 times in the span of 4-5 minutes but indoors, surrounded by your friend’s screams and cries. Then the terrifying silence that follows. Imagine that for a second and then tell us that nothing should be done to get stronger background checks in a place. Tell us after imagining that horror those six-year-olds ensured that you don’t think stricter laws are needed in this country where gun violence is now met with a shrug of the shoulders by the very leaders we elect to protect us.

Huddled in the back corner of the classroom bathroom a first-grade girl heard a classmate who was surrounded by his dead friends proclaim  “Help me! I don’t want to be here!” to which the man with mental issues and a M4 Bushmaster responded, “Well, you’re here.” Then the gunshots started up again.

We don’t have to be here anymore. Please visit https://everytown.org/.

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On Being A Father: Tyler Perry

On Being A Father: Tyler Perry

“All the clichés are real. He really has changed my life. He’s so beautiful and strong and amazing. And he’s a… healer for me, ’cause I look at him and see myself as a little boy. And I’m able to give him all the love and all the things that I never had. It’s really amazing. It’s amazing.”  Tyler Perry

I Love My Daddy This Much!

“It’s Father’s Day and we want to know: what do you love about your Dad? We asked kids to tell us while their Dads secretly listened in. Their responses ranged from funny to sweet but never failed to make their Dads smile.”

On Being A Father: Justin Timberlake

On Being A Father: Justin Timberlake

“It’s incredibly hard, the hardest job in the world and I’ve never been more thankful and grateful to my own mother. Oh, my gosh I’m going to call her right after this actually and just thank her. What you have to do for your kid – it’s an amazing responsibility and the biggest joy ever.”

-Justin Timberlake on The Z100 Morning Show on being a father.

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Men Want to Spend More Time at Home – Even if it Means Taking a Pay Cut

Men Want to Spend More Time at Home – Even if it Means Taking a Pay Cut

Shireen Kanji, University of Leicester

We’re all familiar with what sociologists call “the traditional family”: a straight, married couple, with a male breadwinner who works long hours to support his family, while the woman stays home, takes care of the domestic work, and rears the children. Feminists have long campaigned against the factors which ensure that this the only option – for both men and women. Now, it appears that male breadwinners aren’t too happy with it either.

New research has shown that male breadwinners in high-status jobs, such as managerial roles, are more likely to want to cut back their working hours than other men: even if it involves a drop in their salary.

All work and no play

Here, we use the term “male breadwinners” to describe men who earn the majority of a straight couple’s income. We were unable to include same sex couples in our analysis, because limitations in the data restricted our ability to do so.

Using data on about 4,000 men from 12 western European countries, we found that male breadwinners work longer hours than single men, men who are equal earners and men whose female partner is the breadwinner. Of course, this is partly because male breadwinners have a partner who can take care of most of the domestic work, which enables them to stay at work later or start earlier. read more…

Why Boys Need To Have Conversations About Emotional Intimacy In Classrooms

By: Amy Schalet, University of Massachusetts Amherst

Last month, Tom Porton, an award-winning, veteran Bronx high school teacher, handed in his resignation after colliding with the school’s principal. Porton had distributed HIV/AIDS education fliers listing nonsexual ways of “Making Love Without Doin’ It” (including advice to “read a book together”).

What does it say when a teacher who encourages students to discuss nonsexual ways to express love causes controversy? And how do discussions at school about sex affect teenagers? Do adults lose teenagers’ trust when they are not allowed to speak frankly about how to create healthy intimacy?

My cross-national research on adolescent sexuality shows a profound discomfort in American society not just with teenage sex, but with teenage love. And the silence among adults that results – in families, schools and the culture at large – may take a particular toll on adolescent boys.

What does love have to do with it?

Political battles have raged for decades about whether and how public school students in the U.S. should be taught about condoms and other forms of contraception even though the majority of American youth lose their virginity during their teenage years.

The United States has seen more political strife and cultural controversy around adolescent sexuality than many other countries that went through a sexual revolution in the 1960s and ‘70’s. The Netherlands is an interesting comparative case: Like the U.S., Dutch society was culturally conservative in the 1950s. But Dutch society emerged from the sexual revolution with a more positive approach to adolescent sexuality, one that center-stages love.

American curricula tend to focus on physical acts and dangers – disease and pregnancy – often eschewing positive discussions of sexual pleasure or emotional intimacy.

Feminist scholars have critiqued American sex education for its overemphasis of danger and risk, noting the cost to teenage girls. Scholars have argued that the “missing discourse” of girls’ desire impedes their sense of power in and outside of relationships, leaving them poorly equipped to negotiate consent, safety and sexual satisfaction.

But scholars have paid less attention to the missing discourse of teenage love in American sex education, and its effects on boys, who confront a broader culture that provides scant recognition of, or support for, their emotional needs.


Discussion on teenage sexuality is lacking nonsexual ways to build intimacy.
Joao Paulo de Vasconcelos, CC BY-SA

read more…

What I Want For Father’s Day: 24 Hours to Act Like We Are 24 Again

What I Want For Father’s Day: 24 Hours to Act Like We Are 24 Again

Yeah, I mean that new album is really cool so is the bottle of scotch you got me but do you know what I really want for Father’s Day this year? I want you my darling for 24 uninterrupted hours to myself. Let’s start after work on Friday okay? Send the kids to your parents and let’s pretend we are 24 again.happyhourRelevantDad

Meet me for happy hour at that charming dive bar that we frequented just after college. You know the one with the free wings and sticky floors with the amazing smell of youth and wasted afternoons? Then let’s go downtown to the club and see who is playing. I just want to feel your body against mine as you scream woo-hoo and wave your one hand in the air as you spill some of your drink on my jeans with the other. When the crowd thins out let’s find a late night taco truck and scarf down some carnitas and al pastor. I will be sure to tell them to hold the cilantro. See, I remember.

Then let’s stumble around downtown and people watch through all of the windows at all of the young lovers who will be where we are in 10 years. There is a park bench on the way back to the car where we once sat eating ice cream and talking about the names of our future kids, let’s sit there for awhile as you rest your head on my shoulder trying not to fall asleep. When we get back home let’s stow all of the rubber ducks and squeeze into the bath together with big glasses of wine and just soak in the night alone. Let’s get drunk like we used to when it was just me and you on a random Friday. We can put on the Bright Eyes album we fell in love to and pretend we’re back in our first apartment. You remember the one right, with the dripping sink and the upstairs neighbors who stomped around all night? Then, then bed.trailsadventure.com (2)

I don’t care when you wake up just stay in bed with me until at least 9. Stop thinking about the laundry, the full dishwasher and resist the urge to be productive. Just lay here. Just snooze for awhile. Then we can hop in the shower together for as long as we can stand it when we then fall back into bed where we can spend as long as we want being thankful that we are so familiar with each other’s bodies. Some things do get better with time.

At this point of the morning, we can stumble out into the Saturday and grab brunch without skipping on the Bellinis. Eggs Benedict, frites, frittata, and plenty of coffee. Is there anything better than 5-course breakfasts? On our way home let’s pick up Starbucks to go and crash on the couch spending the next few hours clearing off the DVR. We still have episodes from last Fall to watch and frankly that is embarrassing for everyone. I’d say let’s grab steak and cheese subs from our favorite deli but the thought of getting up and driving is horrid. So let’s order cheap Chinese and not be stingy about it. I expect the bill to be over $35 like it was when we used egg rolls to soak up the cheap beer. read more…

Family Friendly Netflix Streaming Categories

Family Friendly Netflix Streaming Categories

End the hassle of scrolling through page after page of Netflix movies trying to find the perfect flick for family movie night. Netflix has tons of secret unpublished categories and we have curated a list of  family friendly Netflix streaming categories for you to peruse. So pop up that popcorn, fluff the pillows on the couch and pull your offspring close. It’s family movie night guys. (Insert crowd cheers.)

Children & Family Movies 

Movies Aimed at 0-2 Year Olds

Movies Aimed at 2-4 Year Olds

Movies Aimed at 5-7 Year Olds

Movies Aimed at 8-10 Year Olds

Movies Aimed at 10-12 Year Olds read more…

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