The Definitive 2016 Father’s Day Gift Guide

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Look, we’ve already got everything we need. And if you’ve got a healthy family you do, too. But there’s still stuff that we wouldn’t mind being gifted with this Father’s Day so we rounded up 50 items and put together this handy gift guide for all the people who say we’re too hard to buy for. Check it out.

SWIZA Swiss Pocket Knife ($40) Every man needs a decent pocket knife in their every day carry.

Voices in the Night by Steven Millhauser ($10) We don’t have enough time to read novels anymore. Short story collections are the way to go and this is the latest from the Pulitzer and Story Prize winner that we want to dive into.

Weezer – The White Album on White Vinyl ($20) Because it’s their best album since Pinkerton–which was 20 years ago (we’re so old!)–and we really don’t want to miss the chance to get “The White Album” on white vinyl.

Ray Super Remote ($250) We love tech. We hate remotes. This is the most intelligent universal remote ever made.

Tickets to a taping of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (Info) Who would have thought that that guy from The Daily Show would go on to become our most trusted voice in newsertainment.

24 Hours to Binge-Watch Netflix – The last time we were laid up post-surgery there was an unexpected silver lining – sitting on our ass and binge-watching Netflix without judgement. We want a day of that again, please.

Beard Buddy Beard Wash ($24) We’ve read the news stories about beards being filled with more germs than a public toilet seat but, damnit, we’re not shaving it.

Overlook Hotel Socks by Sockaholic ($9) When The Shining is your all-time favorite movie, you tell the world subtly with socks that copy the design from the Overlook Hotel’s carpet.

Le Slip Francais Marius Boxer Breifs ($39) To be honest, we’d much rather see our wives spend the money on something sexy for her but the fact of the matter is we hate spending money on essentials like underwear for ourselves and we’ve been wearing the same boxers for 10 years.

Nike Roshe Flyknit in Wolf Grey ($120) Like wearing sweatpants on your feet, these are the most comfortable shoes ever made.

Meow the Jewels Two Catz T Shirt ($28) Father’s Day is the perfect time to upgrade or add to dad’s t shirt collection.

ICONSPEAK World Traveller Tee ($33) We travel a lot and this handy tee allows you to communicate with the locals by simply pointing at icons when you can’t speak the local language.

Travel Backpack with Integrated Suiter ($168) Speaking of travel, this backpack is perfect for overnight trips where one half of the trip requires a suit but you still want to travel light.

Everlane Swim Short ($45) There’s another “suit” we could use, too.

Switchboard Coat Rack ($65) Functional and beautiful to look at. Plus it will help our office stay tidy.

Iconic Architecture Card Game ($12) Consider this an aid in our quest to know absolutely everything about anything.

A visit to the Philip Johnson Glass House in New Canaan, CT (Info) It’s within driving distance and annoying that we still haven’t visited it yet.

Tacos: Recipes and Provocations ($22) Whether you treat it as a cookbook or food porn, we’re already drooling just thinking about it.

Prepd Lunch Box ($55)  Cold packs are dorky, paper bags feel juvenile and tote bags don’t handle spills well. We just want to take lunch to work like a man. We’ll settle for a pre-order on this one, no problem.

Theo Coffee Maker by Francis Cayouette for Stelton ($70) Coffee as art. And pour-overs are our go-to right now.

Hefeweizen Bread & Butter Pickles ($12) Yes, we would like a jar of beer-infused pickles for Father’s Day. Don’t judge.

Pure Fix Roosevelt Bike ($500) Okay, we don’t expect anyone to drop this much on us but a man can dream, right?

Osprey Packs Poco Plus Child Carrier ($200) It’s the most comfortable carrier on the market which means dad doesn’t mind the extra weight which also means mom’s happy she doesn’t have to take turns wearing it. What we’re really saying is that it’s a gift for the whole family thereby justifying the high-ticket expense (BOOM).

Loop ($250) We’d like a nice digital picture frame to sync our photos of all those journeys, too.

Putin Riding on a Bear Action Figure ($70) There is really no reason to own this (or for it to exist, for that matter) but it would look hilarious on our desk next to our Iggy Pop action figure. (Note to self: Time to draw the line at two bare-chested men on your desk).

RSS Boaty McBoatface Tee ($27) Sure, this shirt will only be relevant for another month but how great will we look at the 4th of July BBQ, right? …Right?

Weekend at one of L.L. Bean’s Outdoor Discovery Schools (Info) It’s been awhile since we’ve had an adventure. Don’t worry honey, the guides from L.L. Bean will keep us safe.

L.L. Bean Signature Textured Knit Polo ($59) An old Summertime classic. We deserve an outfit upgrade.

Talisker Storm ($55) The bottle of Scotch you got him for the last milestone birthday is almost gone, time for a new one.

Cuppow Glass Wide Mouth Travel Mug ($25) Who is that cool guy drinking coffee on the train. That’s right.

Rocking Fatherhood: A Dad-to-Be’s Guide To Staying Cool by Chris Kornelis ($11) The forward is penned by Duff McKagan. Need we say more?

Pizza Grilling Crate ($90) Because we are tired of always doing BBQ chicken or burgers. Let us try something new. Also, pizza.

2nd Generation Boosted Board ($1,000) We can’t stop thinking about how cool these are since watching Casey Neistat’s latest vlog.

Barebones Living Canyon Lantern ($50) For that mid-Summer backyard camping trip we want to take with the kids.

Master Vintner Wine Making Equipment Starter Kit ($155) Sure this will probably end horribly undrinkable but if it doesn’t think of the amazing wine we could have at Thanksgiving.

Meural ($445) The future of your living room wall begins right here.

The Sun & The Moon & The Rolling Stones by Rich Cohen ($22) This will be the book we fall asleep reading in the lawn chair this June.

24 hours to act like we are 24 years old again – Read this, then you will understand.

LTHR T1 Watch ($200) These watches are made in New England and have been on our radar for a long time now. It’s probably time we owned one.

New Art for Our Office/Cubicle Wall – Tell the kids to get the art box out. We want the best damn finger painted masterpiece to show off to all our work buddies.

Mixers for Our Sad Home Bar – Such as Gosling’s Ginger Beer ($31), Simple Syrup by Monin (4 for $32), Hansen’s Club Soda ($15), Q Drinks Tonic Water ($4), & Bitters Variety Pack ($25). These are the things we never remember to buy ourselves but wish we have them when the father in law stops over to play with the kids.

Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want To Come Tee ($28) Hey, it’s the truth isn’t it?

Sunglasses Made from Atlantic Vinyl Records by Shwood ($159) Maybe the coolest sunglasses available right now. You can almost hear Crosby, Stills & Nash spinning in them.

Go to your local liquor store and ask them to suggest a good bottle of Bourbon. Surprise us. We love trying new things.

Spikeball ($60) The hit game from last Summer will surly be the hit game of this Summer, too. Let’s grab the kids and play.

Wurkin Stiffs Silicone Dopp Kit ($50) The leather one we have is super hard to clean out. This will solve that problem. It also looks pretty cool.

Pop Culture Rocks Glasses from Pop Chart Labs ($20) At he end of the day when the kids are asleep and we can finally put our feet up and watch the latest episode of The Americans, there is nothing better than holding onto a half-full rocks glass.

Menu Beer Foamer ($14) Apparently we have been drinking our beer at home all wrong for years and years.

Leff Amsterdam Alarm Clock ($75) We’re adults now. It’s time to class up the night stand.

Champagne Saber ($150) Oh, c’mon! Just let me try it once! Just have the hospital on speed dial.